RIP Zsa Zsa - a requiem recap (Episode 2-13 "Bought and Sold")

Zsa Zsa Gabor was a woman known for her beauty and glamour. She wore loads of makeup and diamonds and furs and all sorts of things of which I heartily disapprove. Yet there was always something adorable and relatable about her, which seems weird as I'm writing it, but that's how it feels. And, of course, she appeared in a Facts episode, one which, I realized on the day of her death, is a critique of her own lifestyle and a very underrated episode.

This is the one where Blair decides to become a makeup salesperson. God, multi-level marketing is such an 80s thing; there was even a Sweet Valley High book that has a subplot where Jessica sells shampoo and soap.

Our first important introduction of the episode is to Natalie, who says she doesn't mind polishing silverware because her "social life is about as exciting as a Gomer Pyle rerun [laugh track]." It's been a couple of episodes since she got a reputation for being easy and had a date every night, so the timing is about right for her to be ready to get out again.

Recap Episode 1-1: "Rough Housing"

Ladies, gentlemen, and anyone else, meet the very first episode of The Facts of Life: Rough Housing, in which princess Blair accuses jock Cindy of being a lesbian (but without using the 'l' word, of course), and Cindy manages it not by being out and proud, but by finally becoming attracted to her first boy.

We begin with our establishing shot in the girls' dorm house thingy. All the girls are there busy with something or other, and we soon learn they are setting up for the Harvest Fair. Lest we forget that this show is a spin-off of "Diff'rent Strokes," Mr. Drummond and Willis come in to pick up Kimberly and make some dumb jokes about crime in the city. 

Enter Cindy in a football jersey, hair tucked into her New York Yankees baseball hat, carrying a pig, which I guess is involved in the harvest fair somehow. There's some dialogue between Cindy and Willis in which Willis comments that Cindy looks like a boy, just in case we missed what they were going for.

Blair is standing at the bottom of the stairs buffing her nails, and thus our conflict gets its initial set-up.

Don't let Blair tell you she's never touched a pig.