Make Love to the Camera (Recap episode 2-14, "Pretty Babies")

You know which one this is.

We open with Blair on the phone with this week's never-seen-boyfriend, Scott. He's obsessed with Blair's eyes apparently, you know, those "chestnut brown eyes with green and gold flecks." Jo is disgusted, Mrs. Garrett is amused, and Tootie comes into the room to declare:

"I'm tired of being underdeveloped."

Turns out she's talking about her photos. Apparently she's all into photography now, but her pictures just aren't coming out right (Blair: "I'm missing part of my head in this one!" Jo: "Yeah, just like real life.")

RIP Zsa Zsa - a requiem recap (Episode 2-13 "Bought and Sold")

Zsa Zsa Gabor was a woman known for her beauty and glamour. She wore loads of makeup and diamonds and furs and all sorts of things of which I heartily disapprove. Yet there was always something adorable and relatable about her, which seems weird as I'm writing it, but that's how it feels. And, of course, she appeared in a Facts episode, one which, I realized on the day of her death, is a critique of her own lifestyle and a very underrated episode.

This is the one where Blair decides to become a makeup salesperson. God, multi-level marketing is such an 80s thing; there was even a Sweet Valley High book that has a subplot where Jessica sells shampoo and soap.

Our first important introduction of the episode is to Natalie, who says she doesn't mind polishing silverware because her "social life is about as exciting as a Gomer Pyle rerun [laugh track]." It's been a couple of episodes since she got a reputation for being easy and had a date every night, so the timing is about right for her to be ready to get out again.

Jo's Clothes - A descent into madness

Newsflash: Jo dresses like shit.

There are times when, good Lord, I just want to punch whoever dressed her.

It definitely occurred to me to feel guilty about judging her, because we know she's poor and of course clothing options may be limited, but you can make a better match at any thrift store, and I'm not sure there's any excuse for that skirt.