The First Amendment doesn't protect a douchebag teacher from pissing off the wrong student (recap episode 3-5 "Front Page")

Folks, this is among my favorite episodes of Facts. It’s one that I remembered but didn’t catch on TV in syndication for a long time. Either I kept missing it or the stations that were showing it at the time didn’t show it because it mentions cocaine. They kept “Dope” off the air for a long time, after all.

But I remembered this episode because, like Jo, I had some teachers who graded me more harshly than my peers because I had shown I was better. I get it, but it also kind of sucks. In my case, I didn’t deserve the C my senior year English teacher gave me on a paper, and when I challenged him about it, he said that he just wanted to keep me on my toes since I got in early to all the colleges I’d applied to. That was bullshit and I went to the head of the department and got the paper upgraded to the A that it deserved. I told the teacher to let me know when my work started sucking, and not to penalize me until then.

In Jo’s case here, I can see now, from an educator’s perspective, how Mr. Gideon thought he was just challenging a good student. But you know what? He was a total dick about it. If he’d been a better educator, he wouldn’t be in this mess.

Before I get too far ahead of myself, let me introduce you to our key players in this episode. We have:

Jo Polniaczek, Junior at Eastland School for girls. Angry, competitive, has to finish the story she’s writing before journalism class even though all that’s due today is the topic. Wants to impress journalism teacher, who she believes is out to get her.

Facts takes on the issue of incarcerated parents (Recap episode 2-12: The Secret)

Recently, I got a comment suggesting that we accept Jo's reformation and stop pigeonholing her as a criminal. I so, so appreciate the place where this person's comment comes from. The law enforcement and criminal court system in this country (which have very little to do with justice) is, frankly, offensive. One really small thing we can all do is stop letting letting the word "convicted" ruin someone's life. People say, "Don't be a criminal! It's that simple!" as if the entire world continues to be open to you when you have to check that goddamn box. Defining someone by their history despite substantial evidence of change is bullshit and is the sort of thing that keeps people who have been convicted of certain offenses from being able to participate in society in the way required to avoid a life of crime.

I give Jo shit because her reformation was an essential part of her character, yet she continues to fake IDs for the girls and commit other petty crimes throughout the series, all the way through Season Nine when she commits a crime on purpose so she can spend the night in lockup because she doesn't have another plan.

But none of this is real, and the flippant way I talk about Jo being a criminal is not a thing I'd do about a real person. It's extraordinarily important to remember that people who go to jail or prison are still people, and they can't improve their lives if you don't give them a chance to do so. If this issue moves you, please consider getting involved with or donating to an organization that helps ex-offenders reintegrate; or one that works toward removing some of those barriers to reentry. If you need some pointers, please feel free to contact me.

The thing is, this episode is particularly prime for a recall to Jo's history of criminality and bad judgment through a "like father, like daughter" joke. Jo has received this year's Best New Student award despite having gotten herself and three of her classmates arrested and put on probation at school; had to work off a shoplifting beef at a department store; and tried to run away to get married to her (extremely hot) boyfriend in the middle of the night in the dead of winter. I'm not saying it's impossible; indeed maybe those things helped her to win the award, if it was decided by popular vote. 

Folks, Meet Natalie Green (Recap episode 2-11 "Sex Symbol")

"Men who are with lots of women are considered studs, while women who are with lots of men are considered sluts!" It's such an old trope, yet we're still mired in it today.

Like most of society's problems, that double standard has its origins in the gender binary. The discussion has become more open and toxic masculinity is starting to get the recognition and derision it deserves, and, as always, our beloved Facts addressed it early on, imperfectly, but ahead of its time. When I first revisited this episode to write this recap, I was annoyed for a while at it, but it came together OK at the end. I will grumble about the slut-shaming and a missed opportunity to really promote sex positivity, but this episode is ultimately a win.

If for no other reason, this episode is special because it is the first with the reduced cast to center on Natalie. Recall that Mindy Cohn wasn't an actress when she was cast in Facts. Charlotte Rae met her while visiting Westlake School in LA to do research for her part as Mrs. G. Charlotte Rae thought Mindy Cohn was so funny and adorable that she was a natural and would fit right in. In the first couple of seasons you can tell she's not a pro, especially when she has to purse her lips to keep from laughing at her own jokes. It's adorable. 

VSE: Teenage Suicide (Recap Epsiode 2-10 "Breaking Point")

Queen's "Don't Try Suicide" came out in 1980, and eight years later Heathers gave us Big Fun's "Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It)"

It's nearly 30 years later and teenage suicide is still a tragic societal problem. Our beloved Facts had a go at commenting on it in 1981 with a Very Special Episode that had potential but ultimately, sadly, falls flat.

We open with Natalie trying to put together her Visible Woman model. I had one of those! I never built it.

After Jo enters with laundry, Tootie, with great fanfare, announces the entrance of the new student council president, Blair Warner! Blair chooses an interesting political identity.

Ahead of its time: addressing asexualization of women with disabilities (Recap episode 3-10: "Cousin Geri Returns aka Geri's Romance")

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you already know that I pretty much worship this show for its quiet progressiveness. It is certainly sometimes a product of its time, and I give it lots of shit for the part of it that is typical 80s sitcom easy jokes and bullshit. It is indeed important to point out the places where even this gem missed, and I do plenty of that around here.

But sometimes it's great to just talk about how the show hits the ball out of the goddamned park, and that's what I want to do today.

There's a reason this blog is called Cousin Geri, and if you don't know off the top of your head who she is, she's Blair's cousin, introduced in Season 2. If you don't know who Blair is, then you should start here. In short: Cousin Geri is a groundbreaking character whose presence on the show just made Facts that much more awesome.

Now, in the middle of Season Three, Geri makes her second appearance on the show, and it's such a heralded event that the her name is in not one title for the episode, but two.  One is more spoilery than the other.

Tootie Nearly Ruins Mrs. G's Career (Episode 2-9 "Gossip")

I don't love this episode. It's not the first time and not the last that Tootie's gossip is an issue, and the biggest issue in the episode is not even all Tootie's fault. I guess when the last two episodes were the heart-wrenching two-parter that opens The Ballad of Jo and Eddie, a little stinker is forgivable. We also have a Very Special Episode coming up next week, but we don't know that yet.

We open, as we so often do, in the cafeteria. Blair has just gotten a new sweatshirt which she says will be perfect for the galleries. My mother had this sweatshirt.

We learn that in a day or two is the first of several trips to New York City (and the first of two times that poor Tootie gets ditched at home). Little wide-eyed Tootie, meanwhile, desperately wants to play Monopoly.

No one will play with her; they are all too busy preparing for the trip. She even offers to give Nancy, who has come by to browse the theater section of the New York Times in preparation for her rendezvous with her boyfriend Roger, an extra ten thousand dollars of game money. Poor, sad child.

Trying another tack to get attention, Tootie eagerly announces that she has some dirt on the headmaster. She succeeds in grabbing everyone's interest, but she fails to impress Jo and Blair with the news that Mr. Harris wears a toupee. They scoff that it's old news and call her that most painful of insults when you're a tween: kid.

Tootie protests that she's not a kid and she didn't want to go on their dumb boring stupid trip to New York anyway. 

She follows her tantrum with a plaintive "Why can't I go?" and Mrs. Garrett explains that the trip is only for the upperclasswomen.

It's a perfect time for Natalie to pop in and ask if they like her jeans for the trip. Natalie gets to tag along because she's writing an article on the UN for the student newspaper. The three girls who get to travel shuffle off together to discuss the trip, while poor Tootie stays forlorn with her empty Monopoly board.

Mrs. Garrett offers Tootie milk and cookies, while Tootie wishes that she were big.

This is not the only time that Tootie laments about being younger than the other girls. If I wrote fanfic, I would write one about Tootie going to a carnival and waking up as an adult. 

Now, though, Tootie dolefully heads upstairs, and once she's gone, Mrs. G mentions to Howard the chef that she'd better get headed out to her eye appointment, where she expects that she'll have to get her eyes dilated. That's Chekhov's eye dilation to you.

Upstairs, Tootie approaches the bedroom door and hears Jo and Blair talking inside.

After Blair secures Jo's assurance that where she comes from, "You squeal and they ship your tongue to Cleveland," Blair explains: she wants Jo to cover for her on Saturday night when she plans to sneak out of the hotel and go out with Roger. Nancy's Roger.

Roger is taking Blair to see Baryshnikov. Why he's taking her instead of Nancy is not explained. Jo refers to Baryshnikov as "some leapin' Lithuanian," which seems too ignorant for Jo to me, but I guess it's still pretty early in her character development. She makes a comment about how pissed Nancy will be when she finds out that Blair is stealing her guy.

Blair: "I'm not after Roger! I'm after Baryshnikov."

Nancy busts Tootie listening through the door and they go in to the room together. Nancy seeks Blair's advice about the fact that she just got off the phone with Roger, and he cancelled on her for Saturday.

Blair feigns sympathy, claims she has to help Jo tune up her bike, grabs Jo, and bails, leaving Nancy in the room with Tootie.

Tootie offers to lend a sympathetic ear, but Nancy says that she needs to find someone older who will understand. As she's just about out the door, Tootie singsongs, "I guess you wouldn't be interested in what I know about ROG-ER!"

Tootie spills it, and after agonizing that she'll kill him, Blair, and herself, Nancy bolts out the door, livid. Tootie is pleased with herself as she muses that "Blair is in trou-ble."

Downstairs, Nancy confronts Blair and they snipe at each other, until Blair demands to know who told her. "A very close friend!" is all Nancy will disclose before taking her revenge with the handy tools she finds nearby.

Jo, who has conveniently entered the room, asks what's up with Nancy and Blair turns her fury on Jo, thinking she must've been the one who told Nancy. Jo is equally furious, indignant that Blair would dare suggest that she went back on her word. It gets ugly.

Tootie's class A dirt, meanwhile, has turned her into a minor Eastland celebrity as Sue Ann and Nancy follow Tootie around trying to get more on the Blair and Roger story.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Garrett has returned from her eye appointment. They dilated her eyes and she's very wobbly. She stumbles into the dining room where Tootie, who is now alone, hears her say "I'll just sleep it off." She knocks over a tray of napkin holders and a chair before Tootie makes a joke about how her uncle was like that, especially on Saturday nights. Mrs. Garrett doesn't help when she says that "It's amazing what a couple of drops can do to your vision." They trade a few more innuendos before Mrs. Garrett heads upstairs.

I think it's pretty important to note here that Tootie isn't judgy at all. She seems, in fact, to find the whole thing hilarious, which I think is great. I'm constantly on a mission to reduce the stigma against drunks. Of course alcohol can be super destructive and if you're drinking instead of fulfilling your responsibilities, then you've got a problem. But if you're off for the afternoon and you decide to have a lunch bender, that shouldn't bother anyone at all. Good for you, Tootie.

Natalie returns to the cafeteria as Tootie giggles. Natalie wants to know what's up of course, and Tootie informs her that Mrs. Garrett was just in the room and she was really "funny." Nat points out that she's always funny. Tootie clarifies:

I have to say that what happens next really isn't Tootie's fault. When Sue Ann and Cindy return to the cafeteria, Natalie is the one who tells them that there's some great gossip, and Natalie is the one who spills the beans over Tootie's protestations. Typically, Natalie can do no wrong, but she really screws the pooch here. It's really on her that the story gets back to Headmaster Harris, whom we hear declaring that "appropriate steps will have to be taken" as we fade to commercial.

When we return from commercial, Mr. Harris has dropped in to visit Mrs. Garrett, who continues to innocently call suspicion to herself as she sprays her plants with a mister made out of a Chianti bottle while singing "How Dry I Am."

The Three's Company style misunderstanding continues as Mr. Harris says that he heard a nasty rumor going around while he adjusts his, er, hair.

Mrs. G: "Oh, it got back to you..."

Mr. Harris: "It certainly did."

Mrs. G: "Well, I think folks will forget about it if we all just ignore it, don't you?"

Mr. Harris: "Mrs. Garrett! This is a very serious matter!"

Mrs. G: "I understand, Mr. Harris. It is serious. To you. But no one else is going to lose any hair - er, sleep - over it."

Mr. Harris: "Well obviously I can't let you take those girls to New York!"

Mrs. G: "Oh, Mr. Harris, good heavens! Who are the girls going to tell in New York? Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

Mr. Harris: "Well that is not the point! The point is that I'm very concerned about your drinking problem!"

Mr. Harris tells her that it's all over campus, and Mrs. G. stops just short of actually saying the words "bullshit." She explains that she had been to the eye doctor, and Mr. Harris believes her - once she shows him her eyeglasses prescription.

Mrs. G puts the pieces together that the rumor must have started with Tootie, whose reputation precedes her as Mr.s Garrett declares her "in trou-ble."

Downstairs, Blair, Natalie, Tootie, Sue Ann, Nancy, and Cindy are all combing over the goss. Blair doesn't believe it and Tootie is mortified. Props to the writers/director for not putting Jo in this scene. It would have strained credulity to have Jo partaking in the gossip, even if she didn't believe it. Now if only they could have remembered that Natalie is a goddess.

The girls shush each other as Mrs. Garrett enters the room. She summons Tootie to the kitchen for a word.

Tootie defends herself, saying she just passed on a little information and it got out of hand through no fault of her own. Well, clearly it's not no fault of Tootie's, but it's not all her fault. Natalie should really be in there getting read the riot act too).

Mr. G points out that she could have gotten fired, and that Tootie could have asked her what was going on and found out that she'd had her eyes dilated at the doctor's office. Tootie is delighted to discover that Mrs. G doesn't have a drinking problem, and she magnanimously decides to "spread the good news" as fast as she can.

Before she can go, though, Mrs. G continues to shame Tootie, pointing out that Tootie's penchant for gossip has pissed a lot of people off recently. Tootie acknowledges that she's a blabber, but it's getting the older girls to pay attention to her. Our wise matriarch tells Tootie that while they might be paying attention to her, they'll never confide in her or trust her like a real friend. Tootie wants to make amends, and agrees to tell the girls the truth.

Out in the cafeteria, Tootie tells the girls that Mrs. Garrett was not drunk, but just "had her eyeballs diluted." And by the way, that secret that was just between Blair and Jo was actually among Blair, Jo, and Tootie.

The truth does not set Tootie free, but rather obligates her to Mrs. Garrett's fitting punishment. If she can't stop wagging her tongue, she's going to wag it over one thousand envelopes that need to be mailed.

Tootie laments that she knows what she'll be doing while the girls are in New York, and because all's well that ends well, the other girls decide to help. Hugs and licks all around. For now.

Jo's Crime Spree Continues (Recap episode 2-6: "Shoplifting")

Joanna Marie Polniaczek is the tough girl with the brain of a genius and the heart of  a lion. She was an important role model to me, and, I've heard, to other LGBTQ or otherwise gender-nonconforming people.

But it is an unavoidable truth that sister is a criminal.

Her crime spree started in her very first episode where she faked IDs and stole the school van to get to a bar. Although she softens and learns lessons that ultimately lead her to Valedictorian status and a generally erudite life, Jo never really stops her reign of fraud.

Here we are in Jo's first season, and we're already on her third crime. Tsk Tsk.

We open with a heternormative throw-away comment and typical Jo/Blair sniping. Jo earns my wrath for the following exchange:

Make Love to the Camera (Recap episode 2-14, "Pretty Babies")

You know which one this is.

We open with Blair on the phone with this week's never-seen-boyfriend, Scott. He's obsessed with Blair's eyes apparently, you know, those "chestnut brown eyes with green and gold flecks." Jo is disgusted, Mrs. Garrett is amused, and Tootie comes into the room to declare:

"I'm tired of being underdeveloped."

Turns out she's talking about her photos. Apparently she's all into photography now, but her pictures just aren't coming out right (Blair: "I'm missing part of my head in this one!" Jo: "Yeah, just like real life.")

RIP Zsa Zsa - a requiem recap (Episode 2-13 "Bought and Sold")

Zsa Zsa Gabor was a woman known for her beauty and glamour. She wore loads of makeup and diamonds and furs and all sorts of things of which I heartily disapprove. Yet there was always something adorable and relatable about her, which seems weird as I'm writing it, but that's how it feels. And, of course, she appeared in a Facts episode, one which, I realized on the day of her death, is a critique of her own lifestyle and a very underrated episode.

This is the one where Blair decides to become a makeup salesperson. God, multi-level marketing is such an 80s thing; there was even a Sweet Valley High book that has a subplot where Jessica sells shampoo and soap.

Our first important introduction of the episode is to Natalie, who says she doesn't mind polishing silverware because her "social life is about as exciting as a Gomer Pyle rerun [laugh track]." It's been a couple of episodes since she got a reputation for being easy and had a date every night, so the timing is about right for her to be ready to get out again.

Recap episode 8-6 "The Little Chill" or Reunions with love...or not

Reunion. Two weeks ago, the Boulder Rugby Football Club held its 50th anniversary reunion celebration. It was a beautiful time, and I left with my legs bruised and my heart full.

In the eighth season of Facts, the girls have a reunion with most of their old season one friends and castmates.

We open to Tootie and Natalie hanging a sign to welcome Sue Ann, Cindy, and Nancy, series regulars back in season one, to Peekskill. Young Andy enthuses that he can't believe he's going to meet cover-girl Cindy Baker. You'll recall that Cindy was very much a tomboy back in the day, so score yet another one for the Facts writers thumbing their noses at stereotypes.

Recap episiode 2-4 "Who am I?" or: Did you know Tootie is black?

Regular readers of this blog know that I constantly give props to the show for its progressive addressing of a number of controversial topics, while still recognizing when it is a product of its time and duly criticizing the damaging institutions it entrenched. There is also a third category of Facts of Life episodes: where the show's heart is in the right place and the message is a good one, but the execution is so ham-fisted that it's hard to watch it without chuckling a little bit, even as you feel guilty for chuckling about a really good effort in a time when not a lot of popular culture was making this effort. This episode is the epitome of that phenomenon.

At least that's how I feel. Perhaps I should get on with the recap and let you decide what you think.

This is the episode where Tootie deals with an identity crisis, which is a product of being one of very few black girls at Eastland and the only black girl in her circle of friends.

We open with Natalie and Tootie entering the dining room as Tootie tries to heckle Natalie into calling the boy she likes and inviting him to be her partner in Eastland's dance contest. They're interrupted by the entry of a delivery boy we've never seen before. 

Recap episode 2-3 "Double Standard" or Rich dick gets skewered

One of the best things that ever happened to me at law school was when I found out that one of my classmates reads this blog. It was his birthday last week, so, as I did last year, I shall recap the episode of his choice, and it's a doozy.

We open with the girls, minus Blair, playing Scrabble while Mrs. G looks on and sort of backseat Scrabbles, much to Jo's annoyance. Enter Blair, with one of her patented white-boy-with-chiseled-features boyfriends.

Recap episode 5-4: "What Price Glory" or Student athlete blog crossover

My husband has gotten used to the phrase, "There's a Facts of Life episode about that." Readers of this blog likely know that in its nine seasons in prime time, Facts covered a wealth of serious and poignant issues, including a number of Very Special Episodes generally of excellent quality.

Earlier this month, the New York Times ran a story on the front page of the Sunday sports section about a particular athlete and program whose academic abuses cost the basketball program their shot at the postseason and may have cost the student his education. 

There's a Facts of Life episode about that.

Jeff was the longest-recurring Facts boyfriend, making appearances in seasons five, six, eight and nine. By the end of the series, Tootie and Jeff were engaged, and other than some rando named "Rudy" who shows up for one episode, Tootie doesn't date anyone else after she meets Jeff.

But do you remember that when they first met, Jeff was illiterate?

Recap episode 9-14 "Peekskill Law" or Blair has a legal internship

Really, though, folks, Blair Warner went to law school. We shouldn't be so shocked; she was always bright and independent; her whole character development was talented yet coddled rich girl becomes a real woman by being part of this posse.

When I went to law school at age 37, a lot of people asked me things like, "why law school?" and "why now?" The thing is that I always expected that I would go to law school some day, so when I watched this almost thirty years ago, I thought to myself that this would more or less be my future.

In this episode, Blair, first year law student, has an internship with a criminal defense firm.

We open with banter at the table, the most relevant question to me being why Natalie always insisted on wearing these animal sweatshirts. 

Blair's entrance leads us to learn that's she's applied for an internship at Harrison and Joseph, the local law firm who is handling the sensational, scandalous Clark Darren case. Harrison and Joseph have invited her for an interview. Exciting!

Recap Episode 9-3 "Rumor Has It" or: Blair goes to law school and is a badass

I've already recapped the bizarre episode in which Blair takes the LSAT after studying for one night and somehow doesn't completely blow it. I keep forgetting, though, that Blair actually went to law school. Presumably she drops out when she becomes the Eastland headmistress at the end of the series. Of course, given the amount of time she spends studying when she's in law school during season nine, maybe Langley Law just isn't all that rigorous.

Our first opportunity to enjoy Blair in the law school environment comes in this episode: Rumor Has It that Blair is hooking up with one of her law professors. It's a pretty heavy episode, actually, and is a great example of how Blair's character truly grew throughout the series.

Recap episode 5-20 "Dream Marriage" or marriage critique

Last week I wrote about the two weddings that took place on Facts, Mrs. Garrett's almost-wedding, plus a bonus sneak peek into mine. I was remiss in not including Jo's almost-wedding, that to Enrique in episode 8-8. Enrique was an undocumented immigrant whom Jo was going to marry to keep in the country.

So, Jo was almost married once (twice if you count the "Teenage Marriage" episodes) and married on the show. Mrs. Garrett was almost-married once and married on the show. Tootie was engaged at the end of the series to pretty much the only guy she ever dated during the run of the series. Natalie ain't the marrying kind, but she was the first to lose her virginity (to be linked when I write that recap). That leaves Blair.

Blair dated a lot; she's often reduced to the title of "the slutty one," even though I'm pretty sure Natalie dated more (but those are topics for other columns). The point is, Blair "Harvest Queen three years in a row" was the only one to not be engaged, married, or deflowered during the course of the series. And I bet this episode is why.

We open with Blair looking very Cinderella-y.

Recap episode 6-13: "CHRISTMAS IN THE BIG HOUSE"

Greetings, dear readers. I have been MIA for two months, and for that I apologize. In the future, I may just schedule November and December as vacation months.

The last two months have been interesting; I passed the bar exam and became a practicing lawyer as an associate in a small law firm. I am also volunteering with the county's juvenile services division on their restorative justice effort. I got engaged and will be getting married at the end of the month. Plus I got a comment on this post which encouraged me to write something a little more in depth on the topic, but that will take a bit longer. And I am reading Charlotte Rae's autobiography, and there are some good bits in it that deserve coverage. It should be a great 2016!

In any case, I owe you a holiday gift. A Christmas episode recap, of course. My favorite Christmas episode ever. The one with this.

This is such a good episode for so many reasons. So rather than blither and blather and blubber about it, let's just get to the recap, shall we?

We open at Edna's Edibles, where Mrs. Garrett is giving away product to her customers.

Recap episode 8-12 "Seven Little Indians" or The Halloween Episode that wasn't (part 2)

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope it's cold and dark and foggy and spooky wherever you are. Remember that if you wear a costume, it's supposed to be scary so that the free-roaming Halloween souls don't inhabit your body.

But first things first. I left you all shivering with antici-pation yesterday in part one of the recap of this episode. Andy was dead, George Clooney was probably dead, and some weird guy who looks like Rod Serling is creeping around saying "Tootie."

WHATEVER WILL BECOME OF THE GIRLS AND BEVERLY ANN?

Recap episode 8-12 "Seven Little Indians" or The Halloween Episode that wasn't (part 1)

I could have sworn that this was a Halloween episode, but it seems to have aired in January of 1987. It certainly fits the spirit, what with the spookiness and the deaths and all.

It's odd that "The Halloween Show" is the only Halloween seasonal they ever did. In season six they had an episode air on Halloween, and it was the "Cruisin'" episode. Maybe "Seven Little Indians" was supposed to be a Halloween episode, but they didn't conceive it until too late in season eight and they couldn't guarantee they'd have another season.

But we open very Halloweeny, with audible rain and thunder, the house dark, and Beverly Ann, who has replaced Mrs. Garrett, sleeping in a chair in front of the fire.

Recap episode 5-6 "The Halloween Show" (part 2)

Muahahahahaha! Happy continuing Halloween week, readers! I left you with a cliffhanger last post. The girls and Mrs. Garrett have only just moved into Edna's Edibles, and they've discovered that there was a terrible triple murder in the house near the turn of the century. At the same time, Mrs. Garrett seems to be coming a little unglued. So far, all the girls know is that Mrs. Garrett has been prowling around the house at night with a butcher knife. But, with the spirit of Grisly Gertie inside her, who knows what horrors are to come in this seemingly tranquil gourmet shop and bakery in Peekskill?

And now, the conclusion of "The Halloween Show."